I’ve been tryin to git my thoughts together on how to write this without it soundin run together and neverendin ramblings. Everyone has been asking about my trip back home to Georgia. Sorry it has taken me so long to git this thang posted buuuuuuuuuuuuuuut this Angel has been tired as hell. Much of it is a blur so bear with me……..ok here goes…….
Day 1 – To git to my mamas from Orlando, you git on the turnpike and blend on to 75-N for the whole entire trip (6 hours)…….nothin but highway and trees….ugggggggh. Got my CD book filled with every type music available (Ima music freak) and with that long a trip ahead….I had to have my jams. I had to borrow my roomates car to go back this time, it cost 300$$ to get the brakes, rodars etc, done to it befor I left. We asked the mechanic to do whatever he had to to make it safe for a 2000 mile trip. So he does everythang he needed to and claims that “EVERYTHING IS SAFE.” So here we go …car loaded down, kids in the back seat being angels (just like their mama…ahem..hehe) I’m jammin out and singin to the top of my lungs, only to break when Chandler asked every 10 mins. “Are we there yet?”
Me: “No baby” (10 mins. later)…………………………….
Chandler: “Mama are we even in Ga. yet?”
Me: “No sweetie, not even close…….got about 5 more hours”
Chandler: “Well how much longer is 5 more hours?”
Me: ” An hour less than 6 hrs. Chandler” (5 mins. later)
Chandler: “Mama I counted 5 hrs. on the clock so we should be close to maw-maw’s now right mommy?”
Me: ” Nooooooooooooooooooooo you counted 5 mins. NOT 5 hrs. darlin, there’s a BIG difference.”
Chandler: ” Well how many mins. are in 5 hrs. mommy?”
Me: (takin a deep breath and lettin it out slowly) “Hows about this Chane Chane man…..you start counting all the mins. that are in 5 hrs. like you count sheep, and when you wake up…..we’ll almost be there ok baby?”
Chandler: “Ok mommy. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10….ohhhhhhhh that gives me an idea!!! If I count by 10’s then we’ll get there sooner….YAYYYYYYY!!!!!!
Me: “Whew!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Resume singing to the top of my lungs)……….”Life is a highwayyyyyy I wanna drive it all night longgggg…..yeah yeah yeah yeahhhhhhh……..
Chandler: “Buuuuut mommyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy I dont wanna drive on it allllll night lonnnnnnngggggggggggggggggggg!!”
Me: “Chandler David Smith!!!!!!! If I hear one more peep outta you……….
Dylan: ” Uhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhh Chandler……she used all 3 of your names……..please dont say nothin else about the time cause I gotta pee really really bad, now she’s gonna hafta stop, and your gonna have to start countin all over again………………………..
Well you git the picture right???????
An hour later I run into construction zones, 60 miles worth of them, speed limit 50…WTH???? No shoulder at all, just 2 narrow lanes with concrete walls on either side of them. Uneven pavement that makes your car wobble, and big ass tractor trucks beside you (they are wobbling too) talk about nerve wracking!! 30 mins. ahead there is a wreck……so we sit for an hour to get thru that. So I finally git to the point of pickin up some speed, and this truck ahead of me has a shitTON of stuff in the back of it (not tied down) and it starts comin off…….So I weave and swerve to miss all of it (Im thinkin of trying out for Nascar…hehe) blow by the dude, shoot him a bird, and Im on my way again…..Yippee!!! A little while later, I see a sea of breaklights….now what??? Well I’ll tell ya…..some idiot decides he wants to pick this moment in time (couldnt wait an hour later noooooooooo) to jump from a 14 ft. bridge at an attempt to commit suicide. WTF??? Sooooooo we wait and wait and wait and FINALLY they git him down……YAY!!!! OK so Im in the fast lane about 2 hrs away from my mama’s, and I run over something, dont know what, but it sounded like a peice of siding, so I start prayin Lord please dont let me git a flat tire. So Im busting an eardrum, cranin my neck out the window, listenin for anything outta the ordinary……nothing……….yet. 20 mins later…….the car starts wobbling like crazy, there is no uneven pavement….nothin wrong with the road at all. The wobbling gits worse to the point of the windows rattling…..”Shit, shit, shit!!!!!” 
Boys: “Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo mama you said a wordy dird!!!!!”
Me: (Glaring in rearveiw) Yes!!! Yes I did!!!!!!!
I get off at the next exit to see if there’s a flat. All seems well. So I get back on the interstate. Then I hear a thump-a thump-a thump. S-H-I-T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chandler: “Mamaaaaaaa I know what that word is and just caws you spelled it dont make a difference….its still bad”
Well dayuum so the spellin trick dosent work in front of him anymore…….makin a mental note of that. I got off at the next exit and called my roomate who is 400 miles back to inform him, he forgot, to put the tire jack, tire iron, air gage, everything of neccecity for times like these back in his friggin car. He apologizes…*Smirks* lotta good thats gonna do me right? He then starts askin me all these stupid questions, like is the tire flat? Ummmmmm no not yet, but something is definately wrong. Well whats wrong he asks? I dont know I yell!!! Well does one tire look lower than the others he asks? YESSSSSSS I scream!!!!! I already told him that the driver side was lower than the others, but I didnt have the stupid air gage thingy to check it with. And then he says well if it goes flat lemme know. And then what are you gonna do I ask? Well there’s nothin I can do he says. Then why in the hell should I call you then I ask? Just so I’ll know was his reply. Ohhhhhhhhh ok so if its a slow leak and the tire goes flat, because of your negligence, and slight case of dementia, I wont have anythang in the world to change it with….but I will be sure to “call” you so your “thoughts” can be with me in my time of need…. fucktard!!!! 
(I told Chandler to cover his ears since he could now spell everythang, and I let my roomy have it. ) So every 15 or 20 miles I had to pull over at a gas station to make sure the tire was ok and not gettin too low…..I did this for over an hr. My nerves were so shot that I stopped at my ex mother in-laws to spend the night, and had someone fix the tire the next mornin before I went to my mama’s. (BTW….it did have a slow leak and was goin flat andddddd the nuts on it were 3 turns loose)
DAY 2 -
I get to mama’s house FINALLY!!!!!!!! Ohhhh and all the bear hugs 
and suga’s we got
!!!!!!!! We were all soooooooo happy!!!!!
My brother was on his way over…..again. He had come over the night before to wait for me but because of the tire incident I didnt make it. (He cussed me out for it too……Like I could help it!!!) So anyways he gits there and mama sat us down (this is usually not good) she tells us that my daddy’s side of the families git-to-gether the one I told ya’ll was my most Fav-o-rite one (the hillbilly side..lol) got postponed. Well hell, we were supposed to go that night up to North Ga. but she said they were all comming down here instead. Wth for we said? Well there’s been a death….your aunt ricky died. The veiwing is tonite, so everyone will be at the funeral home so ya’ll need to take showers and start gittin ready she says. Jeeeeeeeeeeeesussss!!!!!! What else could possible happen I said? So we all git ready and I looked hot if I do say so myself, wish I had a picture…..but anywhoo. I left the boys with mama and me and Josh and Elisa (his wife, they are seperated) went. Them 2 fought, argued, and screamed at each other alllll the way there. I couldnt wait to git outta the car. We payed our respects for 2 hrs. came back to mama’s, changed, then I had to take my brother to make some money. Playing poker of course. We get there and he wants me to front him 30 $$. I told him to kiss my ass. So then he starts beggin me…WTH???? This he does not do. He said he would make it back and give it to me by the end of the night, but he just HAD to have it right then. So of course I gave in. Well if I had known what he was gittin with it I wouldnt have gave it to him. So here comes the dope man, walkin across the parkin lot, I went inside quickly needless to say. Over the course of the night he gave me my 30 back and then profited more. He was doin great. But then he got took on a stupid call and lost everythang. Pissed is not the word I would use for what he was feelin, he was livid!!! And whatever he had bought with my 30 made it much worse!!!! He was like a raging bull. I thought he was gonna put the other dude in the hospital. And it’s not as if anyone there would ever call the cops, they all have warrants or are on probation (my brother included) so I knew I had to do somethin. It took me half an hr. to git him to the car and git him outta there. That wore me out…..hes 3 times my size!!! 
DAY – 3
This is the day my mama’s side of the family were coming to her house for their git-to-gether. I am running on about 7 hrs. sleep in 3 days and I had to cook (remember the list, well she added more to it of course) before everyone got there at 3 pm. Did I mention that I had come down with the a terrible cold of some sort? May have been from going from 80 degree weather to down in the 30’s and winds that cut thru you like a knife. I swear my nose would’ve put Rudolph the rednose reindeer to shame….hehe So I am slavin over the stove, blowin my nose, washin hands,washin dishes inbetween (no she does not use her dishwasher…only for storage for baggies, trash bags etc. we are the dishwashers at her house) blowin nose, washin hands, chasing kids, blowin nose, washin hands, cookin some more, blowin nose, cleansering the bathroom, sweeping, blowin nose……..( Keep in mind there are 13 other people stayin there and NOT HELPING) and I feel like Im gonna pass out at this point. Maybe it was the fumes from the bathroom cleaner….who knows. So I tell mama I need to sit down for just a min. My brother insists that I sit in this chair thats off in the corner, “because its straight backed and will support my back better “(think I pulled a muscle the night b4 trying to pull him off that dude that took his money) There was a reason that this chair was sitting off to the side…..it busted as soon as I sat in it…….Josh laughed so hard I thought he was gonna pee his pants…..and I got ribbed the rest of the night (by him) for being a fat ass. Hello……my whole butt is the size of one of his butt cheeks!!!! I sat there much longer than a min. it took that long just for the feeling to come back. I got my 2nd wind, went into the kitchen, got some of the mashed taters I had made….and called him in there. He looked like the pillsberry dough boy when I got thru with him (they were hot too
) We were both messes. Mama came in there, got us by the ears and marched us outside to the front porch. She told us to cool it or she was gonna whoop up on us. So there we sat covered in mashed taters when everyone started gittin there. My make up was still intact so I was happy….hehe
We had a wonderful time, wonderful food (Ima good cook *Grins*), great fellowship, and lots of presents. Me and Josh sang of course, I love singin with him……brings joy to my soul. =) And of course there were some tears because this is prolly my grandma’s last Christmas. But all in all it was great.
DAY 4 -
Christams Eve is court ordered for the boys to spend with their dad. And then I get them back on Christmas Day. So I told him (Danny) that I would have Dylan and Chandler ther between 5 and 6 pm. Why so late…..for those of you that don’t know……..I left Danny because of domestic violence among other thangs, and the boys didn’t want to go. Dylan is still scared of Danny. Chandler not so much because Danny didnt ever beat up on him…..only Dylan. Plus Chane dont remember as much. But they did want to see their Grammy (Danny’s mom) and all their cousins, and being as all of them were gonna be there, I knew nothin bad would happen. So it’s a quarter til 5, and I’m parked about 4 feet behind mama’s car in the driveway. I go out to warm it up and guess what???? It won’t start. I mean it wouldn’t even turn over. The battery is dead. I need a jump oviously. So mama gits in her car and trys backin up, cuttin the wheels, pullin up, cuttin the wheels, over and over and over like 50 somethin times. The colums that are around the carport were keeping her from getting it out thoses few extra inches she needed. And the car I had borrowed had some kinda safety device in it and ya couldn’t even get it in “N” to roll it outta the drivway. Meanwhile Danny is blowin the phone up callin wonderin whats goin on. We had to wait for the next door neighbor to get back home and she came over the hill in the big F150 and jumped us off….bless her heart. So we got outta there before 6 at least, Josh rode with me down there (he thanks he’s my body gaurd…but where Danny’s concerened, I was thankful for that) We git down there, let the boys out, turn the car off, unload it, say hey to everyone, and get back in the car to leave. It won’t friggin start!!!!!! So here comes Danny, he says to come on in…….his mama says so, and at least watch the boys open their gifts, eat a lil somethin then, she’d git someone to jump us off again. I politely declined. Did me no good at all. We were perdy much held hostage at my ex-mother in laws house until it was over. (Keep in mind Danny is sposed to leave when I am there and is to have NO contact with me whatsoever) OMG!!!!!!!!! I was dreading that. It actually went smoothly though, Im just glad Josh was with me or it might not’ve. Well it was so late by the time we got finished, that Danny said to go ahead and take the boys back with me, since I was sposed to have them the next mornin anyways, and it would same him the gas. I let Josh drive caws we were way out in the country and I have night blindness. It started raining and got real real foggy out. We made it to our exit and got off, (about 2 miles away from mama) it was a busy intersection caws it’s right there at the mall. Well this idiot up ahead of us starts slippin and slidin all over the road because he was tryin to race some one in the rain, and lost control of his car. Jost had to lock up on the breaks. Guess what happened????? The car went dead. It is a gray car, its raining, and very foggy out. We couldn’t even git the hazzard light to come on… therefore all the people flyin up behind us couldn’t see us. Josh got outta the car flappin his arms and screamin, jumping up and down, trying to let people see him before they got right up on us. A car missed our rear end by just inches and went over the midean.Josh almost got hit 2 times. I called 911, then I called mama. Dylan was cryin hysterically. Josh told me to git the boys outta the car and run as fast as we could. So we did across the highway to the gas station. We almost died that night…….literally. The cops got there and I never thought I’d be happy to see them flashin lights, but I was that night. Mama finally got there and jumped us off again and followed us back to her house. Josh was still freaked out, cussin like a sailor, and callin the car a metal death trap. He was worried that when the cop asked for his I.D. that he was gonna go to jail. But he didn’t have a warrant on him….thank Gawd….and we made it back to mama’s safe.
DAY 5 -
I don’t remember much about the first part of the day…like I said it kinda blurs together. I know that we ate a buncha left overs, played some games, watched my fav-o-rite Christmas movie…”A Christmas Story”…..and just hung out. My sister Tracy was also up from Florida (Panama city….no where near me) and she was buggin me about goin out with her. She said she knows how busy I had been but since she was pullin out the next day to go back home, would me and Josh please go somewhere with her later that nite. She wanted us to meet her oldest son (Nick’s) real dad. I haven’t seen her in almost 2 yrs. so of course I wanted to. Sooooooooo off we went. Me, her, Josh, and Brittany (her middle daughter.) Nick’s dad lived about an hr. away . The speed limit was 55 and she went friggin 35 and 40 the WHOLE way, and since she took back roads, it took 2 hrs. to git there. On the way there, we had one deer jump out in front of us which slowed her down even more. She wasn’t exactly sure how to git there she said but had a good idea. As soon as we see the BP gas station we turn right she says. Well she did…..only to turn down THE WRONG WAY…..an off ramp to the friggin interstate so we were meetin cars comin straight at us. And what does she do…she stops and panicks. NO NO NOOOOOO!!!!!! Josh and I weren’t havin none of that considering we almost died the night before. We made her pop a 180 and turn the dayuum car back around. She was shakin like a leaf. Then she got pissed at me caws I was just sittin back chillin like it didn’t faze me she said. I told her as soon as she pulled over, I would git out so she could see the hole my ass had chewed into the dayuum seat…then her tune would change. Well that got her laughin and all was cool after that. Thats until she turned onto the right road. We were goin deep into the woods in a trailer park. She told us she wasn’t sure where his trailer was, but to keep our eyes peeled for a car up on bricks….and that would be his. WTF????? we are in a trailer park…….there’s gotta be at least 50 cars up on friggin bricks!!! We would all know cuz we’ve all lived in one. So I ask her….whats the street name? I don’t know she says. Well what’s the lot # I asked? I dunno she says. Well then call him I said. I can’t my battery is dead and that’s where his # is stored. Meanwhile we have turned around only God knows how many times.So I said lemme git this straight……you don’t have his address, or lot #, you can’t call him, and all we have to go on is a car up on some bricks??? yeah perdy much. Greaaaaaaaaaat says Josh….we’re on a f-ing dummy mission. THEN she makes the mistake of sayin……well *sighs*….if we dont find it quick I’m just gonna leave and go back home. I thought Josh was gonna kill her. “Nooooo we are NOT!!!!! You dragged us out here, dont know where the hell your goin, almost git us killed, make us listen to hellacious music alllll the way here with your grandmaw drivin ass, and we gotta go thru all that shit again??? No mam…not gonna happen…I bet your gonna pull over and I will personally walk up to and knock on every G.D. door until I find that M-fer….cuz I’m smokin me a blunt b4 I go anywhere else with you!!!” So she starts cryin, and Josh is tellin her to shut the F…. up because she almost hit someones car. And then Josh says ….there goes a car right there but its jacked up….there aint no bricks nowhere near it. Then she turns off the waterworks instantly…thats it thats it!!! she yells. Then I got pissed cuz she said to look for a car up on bricks and if Josh hadnt had said somethin I wouldnt have said nothin about it, cuz she said bricks, not jacked up, but bricks. She’s so excited she jumps outta the car with out puttin it in park and then I gotta hike a leg over to her side to slam on the brakes before we went rollin into someones house. I have to say I was ready to strangle her. So anyways she knocks on the door and then motions for us to come inside. Josh stops halfway up the steps , turns, and runs me and brittany over on the way back down. Now my brother is scared of no man, no matter how big, I mean he will go balls to the walls with anyone, but I look down and see a dog chain. That is the only thang that boy is scared of……Dogs. Big ones, all the way down to a lil chiwawas. He was sitting on top of Tracy’s car yelling for her to come unlock the doors so he could sit inside…..LOL Nick’s dad brought the dog outta the house and chained it up so Josh could come in….If only I had a camera with me **Grins** Well I witnessed my 15 year old neice smokin pot and had a fit that tracy even let her, tracy was makin goo-goo eyes with Niks dad, Josh was getting pleasently drunk and high, Niks 2 oldest half brothers got in a fight and the youngest broke his hand, I watched Niks dad show all the scars he’d got over the past 5 yrs. from getting shot and stabbed, heard a few horror stories that went along with the scars, blah blah blah. I wished like hell I had stayed home and got some friggin sleep. We left after a couple hrs. The dog was held back so my brother could pass and git in the car, Tracy puked, Brittany had the giggles, and I was wide awake. I had to be on full alert. They were all messed up. So we git on the interstate to git home faster and 2 deer ran out in front of us…..Tracy didnt even see them is what was bad, the only reason she hit the breaks is cuz I hollered. 5 mins. into the trip she has to pee really really bad. And I told her ohhh well she should’ve went b4 we left cuz the way she chose to go home this time was straight up in the ghetto. Did she listen noooo. She kept pullin into gas stations makin a circle and pullin right back out cuz there was crackheads and dope dealers standing all around them (like I told her) and she didnt feel safe…..DUH!!!!! We finally stop closer to home so she could go, then she comes back out to get $ for cig, then back out for her ID, on her way back out that time I told her we were leavin with or without her. She drives away, gits in the turning lane and follows the drunk person in front of her across the median into oncoming traffic……I jerk the wheel back over, and cussed her out. She said she was followin the other car and shes got outta state tags so she aint worried about no cops, thats a good enough exuse. Josh is pissed cuz she done blew his high so he cusses her out too. We pull up to moms and she dont got the house key, neither does Josh……LOVELY!!!! By the time I found mine mama was awake….let us in and went back to bed. Then she starts bangin on the wall cuz tracy and Josh are being to loud and keepin her awake………ohhhhhh there was hell to pay…for them…..I was an innocent bystander thank goodness…..my ear still hurt from her yankin on it the day before…LOL
I had the rest of the trip typed out but it dissapeared. I also apologized to my roomate for being such a complete ass to him on the phone…I was just beyond stressed out and I took it out on him when alls he was doin is showin concern….I deserve a spankin **Evil Grins** I f you want the rest of the story, lemme know and you’ll have it……Muaaaaaaaaahs!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo
